How I Met Your Father
by Girl of Blue Fire
Summary: Trained by a divine sect determined to save humanity from the curse of demons, Eva is on a mission to stop the Perfect Amulet from being used to reopen the gates of Hell. But after a fateful encounter with the Legendary Dark Knight himself, she may come to learn that not all demons are evil and some humans cannot be trusted… EvaxSparda. Warning for some gore and adult themes.
1. Part 1

_My headcanon on how Eva met Sparda. Please forgive any liberties, I have a fertile imagination and am not familiar with every aspect of the games. I also recommend listening to Hans Zimmer's soundtrack to Angels and Demons whilst reading to give atmosphere._

* * *

A woman in black balanced on the ceiling, senses primed for danger. The chandelier nearest to her was dim, casting deep shadows across the stucco work. She wove them around her, pressing herself deeper into the corner. Two guards passed below and she held her breath, preparing to drop to the ground and attack, but after one excruciating minute they passed, not looking up. Unfortunately they weren't the real trouble. Wards like spider's work threaded through the entire mansion, it was taking every magical ability she had not to trip them.

She flipped down, landing on the red carpet, soft shoes making the barest sound before pressing herself against the wall.

The guards were gone, all that remained were portraits in their gold frames staring murder at her. She ignored their eyes as she crept forward, Cloak of Unknowing wrapped tightly around her.

 _Sofia was right._ Eva smiled as the ethereal notes of a soprano echoed up from the levels below. _Today was the perfect opportunity._

Left. Right. Nothing at the next junction. She darted around the next corner and sped silently down the corridor, her mind still tracing the movements of the guards who had turned down the adjacent passage.

 _If Carlo's information is correct…._ Yes, there was the next pair coming down the East stairwell complaining they were missing the performance.

She slid behind a suit of armour, its polished height enough to shield her even if they did glance this way.

The chandeliers were brighter here, augmented by long Venetian mirrors. For a moment she caught a glimpse of herself - a slim black-clad figure, long blonde hair braided and pinned, drifting in and out of sight. A smile curled full lips. The Cloak of Unknowing was powerful but she couldn't rely on it entirely.

Male voices drifted down the stairwell and she slipped from behind the armour. Pausing for the merest instance to calculate distance, she passed down it like a shadow herself in the wake of the guards.

 _I have to keep close to give myself the greatest window of time…_

Stopping at the archway to the next level she assessed her latest challenge. Loftier than the corridor above, the one before her was also more austere. Carven warriors and grim gargoyles lined the passageway and glared down onto the stone flagging. The crystal chandeliers had been replaced by candelabra with tongues of flame.

 _And you called yourselves the last defence against the Night…_ She thought acidly as she looked at the bestial faces.

The Order had been founded to guard the Perfect Amulet, passing it in secrecy from member to member, country to country for almost two thousand years. Yet looking at this and the malevolent wards laced throughout the building, it was clear the rot had set in longer than even Father Gabriele had imagined. But whether Lord Rosvenir who currently led them was a demon himself or just a tool didn't matter. Sofia's spies had assured her his reputation as an extravagant host would make sure he was at the exclusive recital below.

The notes of the aria welled up, amplified by the stairwell. A shame, the girl had the purest voice. Eva hoped not everyone was corrupted by Rosvenir's taint.

She smirked. _But today, Lord Rosvenir, playing the man of wealth and distinction is going to be your downfall._

She had to act quickly. They might never get another chance. At least the guards with their red jackets and shining breast plates were easy to spot, even in the gloom. Up ahead was the entrance to the vault where her prize lay, but she would bet all she owned the eyes of those statues were more than just stone. The guards were saluting their compatriots at the vault door, halberds clanking to attention as they performed the change-over. She closed her eyes, focusing on the magic within, weaving it with deft grace around her until the Cloak of Unknowing meshed her from head to toe, but with enough subtlety it wouldn't set off the wards. She could only keep it up for so long.

 _God be with me._

The old guards, now relieved, had turned, marching into the darkness at the end of the passageway. Eva crossed the threshold, placing a foot on the floor of the corridor and checked the nearest statue's baleful gaze.

Nothing. It had worked.

She raced down the corridor, faster than the wind. The guards she had been following looked up, sensing nothing but a shift in air when a roundhouse kick snapped against the skull of the first, knocking him unconscious. A second took out his brother before he could even cry out, the Cloak of Unknowing whipping around them to silence the clatter of their falling halberds and bodies.

Eva had no time to hide them, the drain of the spell was eating into her veins and the pressure of deceiving the wards was already mounting into a migraine at the back of her head. She looked up at the vast wooden doors in front of her, decorated in fanciful shapes and twisting with wrought iron. Inside magic sang to her as sweet as the soprano below. Her gloved hand traced the ornate golden lock. Once she opened this it would only be a matter of time before the Order appeared. She took out a glowing orb from a small leather pouch and placed it against the keyhole. It melted, shivering into the metal in concentric ripples. The iron tracery wriggled like the vines it resembled and Eva braced herself for some sort of counterstroke, but the doors opened with barely a sound.

Inside a wide chamber beckoned, roof strutted with a ribcage of beautifully carved wood. Stars picked out in gold after the Moorish style winked at her as she quickly stepped inside and closed the huge doors behind her. Sunlight poured from diamond-paned windows at the far end of the room, revealing the treasures within. Tomes, wands and swords, all resonating with power, stood on stands and plinths at regular intervals around the perimeter, each illuminated by a metal sconce. But it was the ancient tapestries to either side of Eva that caught her eye. In the first a dark figure, horned and winged, faced the infernal hoards alone. In the second he pushed them back, a mighty sword hewing snarling faces as fire spun around him. On the her right the story continued, the same warrior locked in combat with a monstrosity of eyes and hands that sought to rip him limb from insect limb. In the last scene the demon and its multitudes lay in pieces beneath the warrior's cloven feet as he held his sword aloft and light blazed upon him.

 _So they still pay lip-service to the legend of Sparda_. She thought as she looked at the images. _How can they see all this and still plan to reverse what he did?_

She had always loved the story - a devil struck by justice, the slayer of his own kind, but perhaps Father Gabriele was right and Sparda was just another fabrication. After all, what demon could truly forsake the darkness? How could love move the heart of the heartless?

The final tapestry ahead of her seemed to belie that thought. Framed by the windows it showed Spada still wreathed in power, but his face was sad, wings drooping as he placed his sword against the breast of a priestess in white, their hands joined around the gold and ruby of the Perfect Amulet, blood dripping between their fingers.

And below them the item itself.

Eva grinned and ran towards the object of her desire. It was locked within a crystal display case, cushioned on red velvet, and hardly needed the light of the windows as it seemed to glow from within.

 _Just as Father Gabriele described._ She thought. _A double pendant made of rubies, one in gold, the other silver. Light and Darkness, joining the two worlds together…_

Chills ran up her spine. She couldn't hear the performance through the thickness of the walls. Had Rosvenir felt her breaking the door's seal? Or the gargoyles seen her passage through the corridor?

She raised her hands to the crystal case and with Second Sight saw the magical weaving that protected it.

 _A shame you couldn't protect the people from yourself, Rosvenir._ Eva thought and channelled the sentiment into her weaving. She drew the opposing pattern in the air with luminous blue lines. It flared and both spells cancelled each other out. Eva sagged, her energy further depleted. She dropped the Cloak of Unknowing, husbanding her magical reserves for escape and blew on the crystal causing it to shiver into dust.

The Amulet shone as if recognising her, light sliding off its strange faceted surface. She sucked in a breath and with shaking reverence picked the pendant up and secured it in the inner pocket of her tunic. Even through her gloves she could feel the spark as she touched it.

"I commend your taste," a deep voice said from behind her, "but I'm afraid I can't let you leave with that."

Eva leapt. The doors hadn't opened, she would have heard it! She looked behind her to see a tall handsome man with silver hair standing in front of them. A fine purple coat stretched over powerful shoulders and a monocle twinkled from his left eye. From his expression he seemed amused.

"Lord Rosvenir, I presume?" She said, returning the attitude.

Her hands slid slowly towards the pistols at her hips. His grey eyes followed the movement and she stopped.

"Indeed." He looked her over as she did him. "It saddens me not to avail a beautiful woman of equally beautiful jewellery, but that amulet, as I'm sure you are aware, is somewhat special."

"That's a shame." She said with a smile. If he wanted to flirt so could she. "You have such an unusual collection…" She gave the room a cursory glance as she sidled over to a nearby claymore. "I couldn't help but admire it…"

Admire it? This thing was hideous. Its hilt was comprised of a ribcage topped with a demon skull. Still it might prove useful…

"Well my lady, if you wanted to admire my collection you could have done me the courtesy of a request. I am missing a rather special performance because of this."

"My sincerest apologies, Lord Rosvenir." Eva said as she caressed the edge of the sword.

"If you are planning to duel me," his voice was definitely amused now, "I'd choose that sword over there." He nodded to an elegant blade on the other side of the Perfect Amulet's empty plinth. "Yamato is longer than the average katana but it's better balanced for a woman."

"Duel you?" Eva quipped as she turned her back on him. "Why would I want to do that?"

In a lightning quick motion she grasped the claymore and turned, hurling it with magically imbued force at Lord Rosvenir. He gaped as the sword sank through his chest and impaled him high on the carved doors behind.

She watched with satisfaction as the blood dripped down the damask silk and ruined the brocade jacket beneath.

"That was for humanity, you smug bastard." She said and strode towards the windows.

Throaty chuckles froze her in mid step.

Eva turned to see Lord Rosvenir throw back his head and laugh with the blood still gouting from his chest.

"Well, well, I guess I did deserve that." He said and then sickeningly heaved himself forward until the blade and its oversized hilt cut through him and he fell to the ground still laughing.

Eva swallowed the vomit rising in her throat. "So you _are_ a demon."

"What gave it away?" He replied, dusting himself off and picking up his monocle which had fallen in her attack. "You however, are something much more interesting."

She pulled out her guns and fired, lacing him with enough rapid-fire rounds that he was pushed back against the doors again. She edged closer to the windows, squinting through the smoke to see if she had finally put him down.

"I'm curious…" his voice said from within the haze, "if a sword didn't work, why did you think bullets would?"

"They're blessed bullets." She said, reloading and trying to keep the rising panic from her voice. _I've trained for this. I'll bring him down, him and all his kind!_

"So they are." Rosvenir said as he emerged from the clearing smoke. "Silver-capped and filled with holy water if I don't miss my guess?" His smile was pained. "They do pack quite a sting."

"Who are you?" Eva snapped, holstering her weapons and trying to buy time. If this monster was at the heart of the conspiracy she must take him out, but the Perfect Amulet needed to be gotten to Father Gabriele and La Luce. Without it, these traitors couldn't enact their scheme.

"Forgive me." The demon smiled. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself properly." He gave her a courtly bow. "My true name is Sparda."

"Sparda?" She spluttered, her eyes going automatically to the nearest tapestry. "The…the Legendary Dark Knight?"

"It's something of a grandiose title, I'll grant you." He sighed and stretched out a hand behind him. The claymore that was still riven into the doors leapt to his palm. "But one does tend to collect them over the centuries…"

Eva's heart plummeted into her stomach.

 _Is it true? Is it him? What is going on here?_

And worse if it was him then how was she meant to face the Dark Knight himself?

"Now I've given you my name." Sparda said as he levelled the sword at her, red energy licking up its edges, "I believe it's time for you to give me yours, Lady…?"

"I don't care who you are or what you do to me." She spat and gathered the last of her magical reserves. "Humanity deserves to be free of your taint!"

She blasted him with raw power, lightning bolts of energy surging through her into a geometric mesh that closed on its target with lethal force. The Heavenly Seal - her last resort. As the barrage faded Eva threw her last prayer to the Divine and smashed through the window, flipping end over end to the distant street below.

* * *

 _There will be at least another part to this but I can't guarantee it turning into a full on story as I don't think I can commit to that even though I want to. We'll see. Please let me know what you think, reviews really do matter. Did you get all the references? I've made Eva into a bit of a badass here because a) why not b) tired of the saintly mother who just stays at home trope c) her original creator transformed her into a powerful witch in the Bayonetta-verse. I also enjoyed extrapolating a sort of modern/renaissance world for them. DMC has some interesting influences. Sparda's POV is next hehe. I'm also working on several other one-shots in the same verse when they are married with the twins so look out for those._


	2. Part 2

Heaven itself seemed to strike him as Sparda was forced to use Rebellion's power to cut the Heavenly Seal in half. His true flesh writhed in agony beneath his human skin and his eyes were squeezed shut to avoid being permanently blinded. But over the force of divine retribution he heard the breaking of glass and both cursed and saluted the woman for her daring. Summoning his inner strength the Dark Knight briefly transformed into his real body to push the residual waves of the Seal back. Every one of them carried the force of her contempt.

 _That was quite a woman…_

Shaking them off, he healed himself and let his human self return as he raced to the broken window and peered down. Shouts and the squeals of horses and cars told him of the commotion below but his demon senses confirmed she was gone, having miraculously survived the fall.

He let out a chuckle and shook his head, before turning around and taking in the devastation of the room. Yamato stood imperious on its stand but the rest of the artefacts were everywhere, the tapestries falling from the walls and the Chaldean Codex mere pages scattered across the floor.

 _That's one more she owes me._ He thought, running a hand through his silver hair. _That's the only surviving copy…_

"My Lord!"

 _Ah, here comes the cavalry…_

A contingent of his elite Guard stormed in headed by Crassus.

"My Lord." He repeated, giving Sparda a deep bow. "Are you well? What happened here?"

"Quite well Crassus, thank you." He fingered the bullet holes and burns on his favourite coat. It was divine work so he couldn't salvage it. "My attire less so. Ask Manning to retrieve a change for me."

"At once." The commander nodded and another soldier raced off to find his butler, although given Manning's demonic origins he was probably aware of the situation already. Sparda valued his humans but an infernal servant could be infinitely more useful at times.

"The guards at the back entrance reported a disturbance." Crassus glanced at the shattered window and general disarray. "Was anything stolen? I take full responsibility."

"Unnecessary, my friend." Sparda replied. "The thief was prodigiously talented." He traced his chest where Rebellion's wound had healed.

"Thief?" Crassus said, aghast, and the Guards' eyes widened.

Sparda summoned a scabbard for his claymore and placed it over his back. "Yes. The Perfect Amulet is gone."

There were gasps. Sparda turned to them.

"It was a woman. Long, blonde hair in a braid, brown eyes, pale skin, dressed in black although I suspect she would have changed by now."

She was too crafty by half to remain in recognisable clothes, if, of course, she was still able to move. And he would bet this whole treasury she was.

"Early twenties, I think." He continued, pacing. "Trained in stealth and magical techniques, and given the state of the men outside the vault, I would say proficient with marshal arts as well as firearms."

He shouldn't have made that quip about Yamato to her, that had been tacky…

"We will put out a search immediately, my Lord. She will be found and the Amulet retrieved."

The Guard snapped to attention behind their commanding officer.

"She wasn't acting alone." _This was too fast, too well planned…I would have sensed scrying or a previous intrusion to scout._ That meant footwork…human spies…"I want them found and I want them alive. Be aware they may possess the same capability as this assailant."

Crassus saluted him. "They will not escape."

"I put my faith in you, Commander."

Crassus bowed and turned to go.

"Crassus? I trust you to do this with your usual discretion. The populace is on edge as it is."

Half the reason for this damned recital had been to placate them…not that he didn't enjoy the spectacle…

"Of course, my Lord."

Boots pounded across the floor as the Guard sped off replaced by House soldiers and trusted servants tidying up the mess. Darion and Alecto had thankfully been attended to, but were no doubt going to be harangued by Niobe who looked ready to skewer them on her way past.

She dropped to one knee. "My Lord, I take full responsibility for this debacle." She drew her sword. "If you wish for my life in recompense-"

"Captain," he interrupted her, "you, Crassus and the rest may offer me deep and grovelling apologies to your heart's content when this is all over, but for now I require the expertise and focus of my House soldiers."

She came to attention with her usual alacrity.

"Have the building searched discreetly in case of accomplices, while the rest of you aid Crassus. I want Eleonora sent to me in my study in forty minutes as well."

He needed his spymaster to confirm his suspicions and that saddened him. Which of his loyal and capable staff had been compromised?

"It will be done."

Kalina Ann rushed in as Niobe left, still clad in her opera gown with its spectacular train flowing behind her.

"My Lord, what happened? I heard you were attacked!"

"I'm fine, Kalina." He replied. Anyone would think Mundus and his legions had appeared. After all she, Niobe and Crassus all knew what he really was, it would take more than one human mage to achieve what the hoards of Hell could not. "Now why have you left the audience chamber? Our guests will be concerned."

"I finished my aria." The slight petulance in her voice told him he had been missed. "I was worried when you disappeared." She looked about, dark eyes wide. "Who did this? They say the Amulet was taken?"

"Yes, " he said, "now forgive me, but I must make efforts to retrieve it."

"I can help." She said, catching his arm. He glanced at her hand and she blushed, letting it fall. "You trained me well, my Lord. I can find this thief."

"That would be an excellent idea - give them the second ingredient to break my spell, if that is their plan."

The woman's face flashed before his eyes again. With her sentiments, it was unlikely…so what was her game? She acted as if _he_ was the villain, even when she knew his real name…

"I wouldn't fall so easily into their hands." Kalina was protesting.

Sparda sighed and focused his attention on her. She was about the age of the thief but despite equal passion, Kalina lacked the blonde woman's maturity. That was his fault, he had pampered her too much.

"I do not doubt your abilities, my dear." He said as he glanced up at the only tapestry which remained intact. Siriana's transcendent face was forever a rebuke to him. Ten thousand years could pass and he would never forget what it felt like to plunge the Force Edge into her heart. "But I promised your ancestress two thousand years ago that I would protect her line in perpetuity." He turned back to Kalina. "I cannot truly honour that pledge if I send you directly into danger now can I?"

"You intend to coddle me my entire life, then? She retorted, then bowed her head, the diamonds of her hair-net catching the light. "I'm sorry, my Lord. I only wish to serve you."

"I know." He said, tucking a stray lock of black hair behind her ear. "Then serve me in this. Return to the audience chamber for now and keep them quiet. Afterwards you can scry. Our absence will have been noted and sometimes diplomacy is a more potent weapon than the blade. And keep your ears open. I want to know all the gossip. Someone is behind this and they don't just wield guns and spells."

Her eyes widened again and she nodded, expression firming. "My Lord." She said and swept out of the room, shoulders squared.

Sparda couldn't help a slight smile. He would never have offspring but she was the closest thing he had to a daughter.

"Your Majesty." A voice intoned in his mind.

"Leave me, all of you." Sparda said to the remaining servants. When they closed the doors he turned as a skeletally thin old man emerged from the wall with a purple overcoat and new shirt. "Your Majesty? You always call me that."

"I know my duty. You are the King of Hell whether you choose to acknowledge it or not." The old man replied, holding out the clothing. "Do you require my assistance?"

"I think the King of Hell can manage to put on his own clothing." Sparda chuckled as he took them. "And hiding my true identity should be your duty, but then we've had this conversation for centuries so there is no point in me arguing the matter yet again."

A simple transformation had him back to his usual crisp self. He breathed a sigh of contentment. He was vain, there was no doubt, but vanity was a small sin for a devil of his rank.

Manning reached for the discarded items he'd let fall to the floor.

"I'll keep those." Sparda said quickly. "That will be all, apart from I need you to search the mansion. Let me know of any irregularities. "

Manning raised a jutting eyebrow of white hair at his first statement but his creased yellow face smoothed at the second. "It has been done, Sire, there is nothing now the intruder has left."

"Did you sense anything more at the time?"

"Nothing but a vague itch." He wrinkled his large, hooked nose. "I swam through the levels but could not pinpoint it until a quarter of an hour ago."

"When she dropped the spell." Sparda nodded. "It was powerful work." _I'll need to reroute Niobe's troops then. The Amulet must be found!_

Manning curled over himself, elongating his arms, hands and torso in supplication. It would have been freakish if Sparda hadn't lived in the Underworld and gotten used to far worse. "Forgive me, your Majesty." The butler said ponderously. "I should have seen through the enchantment."

"Not you as well." Sparda chided. "You confirmed my own feelings and I couldn't penetrate the spell either. I just knew they would end up here. No matter."

"I will keep you informed, your Majesty." Manning said as he melded back into the plasterwork.

Finally alone again Sparda looked down at the ruined clothing then back at the shattered window.

 _So much trouble caused so quickly…_ He nudged a glass shard aside with a polished boot. _I should be out there leading the search. That is_ my _duty._

Capable as they were, he could find the golden-haired culprit a lot faster than his Guard or even Kalina with her ancestress's seer abilities. In fact he could have leapt out of the window as soon as he recovered from the Seal and likely caught up with the thief.

 _So why didn't you?_ A voice that sounded too much like Mundas said. _Didn't you enjoy the encounter?_

The woman's smile, her hair, the look in her eyes when she threw Rebellion all came back to him.

 _I always enjoy flirting with beautiful women._ He thought and cursed himself and his wretched analytical mind that wasn't going to leave it at that. He needed to act, Siriana's legacy was at stake! Instead here he was navel-gazing, but he couldn't stop the memories.

 _"Now I've given you my name, I believe it's time for you to give me yours, Lady…?"_

Her face in that moment…The dawning realisation, the abject horror…

Then the transmutation into iron conviction.

 _"I don't care who you are or what you do to me. Humanity deserves to be free of your taint!"_

Sparda closed his eyes. He had been alive for a long, long time. He had seen humankind rise and fall like waves of wheat to the harvest, but he had rarely beheld that quality of soul. It shone from her, far more radiant than her mortal body. Eternal and untouchable, it was a spark of the Divine he was forever denied.

How he hungered for it…

Glass crunched under his hands and he looked down surprised at the blood spurting between his fingers where he had grasped the window. A golden hair had caught itself on the jagged edge and curled into the breeze as if pointing in her direction. His pulse quickened.

That calibre of spirit could feed him for a century, more… He wouldn't need all the power he had locked away in the Abyss if he had that, if he had _her_.

His human form flickered and fangs drew blood from his lips.

"I will not give into this." He said and marched away from the broken panes. It had been millennia since he'd felt such temptation. He had left it all behind along with the Prince of Darkness and his ilk. Hadn't he woken to justice and seen the suffering he had caused? _Sworn_ to make a difference? Protected Humanity!

 _"You are a demon, Sparda,_ " Mundus had hissed, _"just like your brethren. This sin of righteousness, so vile even I cannot feed on it, will wash off you eventually. All you need is the right trigger."_

He sucked in a breath and laughed at himself this time, the so called King of Hell afraid of one mortal woman _._

 _You wouldn't have to devour her…_ The voice wheedled. _If she surrendered to you, body and soul, it could be pleasurable for you both._

"Enough!" He shouted to the empty chamber, the echoes of his wrath coming back to him.

Crassus would find her and put an end to this nonsense and if not…Sparda squeezed his fist together and looked up again at the image of Siriana's sacrifice. _If not, I will show this woman that not all demons are a taint on humanity…_

* * *

 _A/N - Thanks for the reviews so far :) I'd be interested in your opinions on how I've woven in Lady's mother and the different levels of Sparda's character. I wanted him to be the suave, noble character we all admire but also wanted to see if he still struggled a bit with his demonic side especially when faced with the awesomeness that is Eva. #notalldemons lol It may be obvious to say but this is Sparda before his time with Eva, both of them will develop into the tragically amazing parents we know. I see Crassus btw as basically Credo. If I do set this in Fortuna (which I haven't decided) then he could be Credo's granddad or something! Likely going to go back to original fic now but if you did enjoy let me know as I have plenty of ideas for this world._


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